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WCW Clash of The Champions XII: Mountain Madness

by Scrooge McSuck

- So... is the show called "Mountain Madness" or "Fall Brawl '90"? Was someone inspired by the goofy teaser titles on episodes of Rocky and Bullwinkle, or could they not make up their minds? Oh well, it's the same company that had this great idea for a main event villain, and had NO answer for who it was going to be (as in, who worth buying a ticket to see). Unlike the WWE Network, this show is NOT in great quality, so if I seem to dog a few things, or miss a few things, blame someone's old, crappy, VHS rip to an undisclosed media streaming website.

- Originally televised live, on TBS, from the Asheville Civic Center in Asheville, N.C. Jim Ross and Bob Caudle are at ringside to call the action. I'm pretty sure this is one of the last "big card" appearances for Bob Caudle on commentary, or maybe I'm just going crazy.

The Southern Boys (w/ Bob Armstrong) vs. The Fabulous Freebirds (w/ Buddy Roberts):

(Tracy Smothers & Steve Armstrong vs. Michael P.S. Hayes & Jimmy Jam Garvin)
Didn't we see these two teams go at it at the previous Clash of the Champions?! At least we get to hear "Badstreet U.S.A." (complete with a short music video), and then it's downhill from there. The flamboyant meter is OFF THE CHARTS. Seriously, what's with all the glitter and makeup?! Gary Michael Capetta announces a 6-Man Tag, but I don't see that happening. I didn't even know Buddy Roberts was in WCW at this point. Smothers and Hayes start. Freddy Joe Floyd traps Doc Hendrix in the corner and unloads with a series of rights. Jimmy Jam in, and he's quickly sent to the floor for a breather. Freebirds double-team in the corner, but Steve Armstrong's in to make the save. I was going to make a Lance Cassidy reference, but I don't think anyone even remembers his short-lived WWF tenure. A pair of Southern Dropkicks clears the ring, again. Smothers gets knocked of the apron, allowing the Freebirds to take control. If you like stalling, the Freebirds are the team for you. Hayes busts out a sweet running Bulldog, a move I'm sure his character had as an option in WCW Wrestling for the NES. Snapmare and CHINLOCK~! Garvin gives Smothers a weak Hot Shot, heads to the top rope, and gets slammed off for it. Armstrong gets the hot tag and works over both Freebirds. Roberts hooks the ankle from the floor, but now Bullet Bob comes in and lays out Hayes. Armstrong covers, but Garvin breaks it up. Double Shoulder Tackle to Garvin. Hayes avoids the same fate, but we get a double Sunset Flip from the Southern Boys, and get the three counts at 8:34. Post-Match, the Freebirds dump the Boys and Double DDT Bullet Bob, just because they can. * Pretty much the same match these two teams worked approximately 250 times in 1990, except a bit slower.

- Tony Schiavone is backstage with the NEW United States Tag Team Champions, the Steiner Brothers. They won the belts from the Midnight Express at the Meadowlands Arena on August 24th. Scott stumbles all over his lines. They keep threatening Doom, but I don't think the two teams ever crossed paths, again.

Captain Mike Rotunda vs. "Nature Boy" Buddy Landell:

This should be a 5-Star Classic. Rotunda is accompanied to the ring by the, and I'm quoting here, Burger King Ring Master Contest Winner. I guess she wrote a poem about NWA Wrestling and Burger King. A Winner is You, indeed. Lockup to the corner, and we get some trash talkin'. Landell grabs a headlock and comes off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. Rotunda puts him down with a clothesline, and takes over with his own headlock. Landell with an elbow to escape a hammerlock. Whip to the corner, Rotunda takes him over with a hip toss, and follows with a slam for two. Landell blocks another hip toss and counters with a short clothesline. He drops an elbow and covers arrogantly for two. Slugfest, won by Landell, and abdominal stretch! Mike Rotunda would be proud, even though he's a victim of it, of Landell using the ropes for leverage. Rotunda escapes and offers a comeback. Rotunda with a leg drop for two. Back slide for THREE at 5:42?! Well, that sure came out of nowhere. That's two Supercard matches in a row Rotunda won with that move. *1/2 This was alright. Rotunda would be repackaged shortly after (thank God).

- The Fabulous Freebirds are rockin' out around the Country!

Tim Horner & Brad Armstrong vs. The Master Blasters:

Armstrong is actually introduced as "The Candy Man." His gimmick was throwing candy to fans at ringside. He would soon adopt candy-cane striped tights. The Master Blasters are Iron and Steel. The latter would be an incredibly green Kevin Nash. I guess this is their debut match. Steel starts by shoving Horner across the ring. He muscles him into the corner, and Iron comes in with a CRAPPY knee lift. Steel drops an elbow and Iron a "headbutt" that misses by a good foot. The crowd boos that one. Armstrong in, and he gets laid out with a shoulder tackle. Armstrong rocks Steel with dropkicks. He runs into a big boot, and it's back to Amateur Hour with the offense. Iron's offense consists entirely of diving tackles and crappy elbows and headbutts off the ropes. He also manages to blow a simple bump off a back drop. Double Shoulder Tackle finishes Horner at 4:52. Crowd pops because it's over. -* Awful. Iron was gone within weeks, and Steel was taken off TV and repackaged in Failed Gimmick #2: Oz. There's no excuse for two men this inexperienced to be featured on a nationally broadcasted special like this.

The Nasty Boys vs. Jackie Fulton & Terry Taylor:

Fairly early in the Nasties short run in WCW. They're introduced from "New York City", rather than "Allentown, PA." I guess their WCW hometown evolved into "Nastyville", because everyone had stupid hometowns in WCW. Poor Terry Taylor... back from WWF as a Rooster, working as a Jobber Team to put over the Nasty Boys. Fulton and Knobbs start. Knobbs pounds away and grabs an overhead wristlock. Fulton fights out of a double team with a double snapmare, followed by a body press onto both men. Taylor with a swinging neck breaker on Knobbs for two. Taylor and Fulton work over Sags, primarily targeting the arm. Sags goes to the eyes of Taylor and dumps him to the floor. Taylor sends him into the post, and comes off the apron with a double axehandle. Diving body press gets two. Knobbs comes in and is quickly victimized. Taylor with an atomic drop and back suplex, and Fulton from the top with a missile dropkick for two. Whip, and Knobbs slams Taylor down with a handful of hair. Sags with a snapmare and knee drop. Knobbs with an avalanche in the corner for two. Taylor sends the Nasties into each other, and in comes Fulton with the hot tag. Slams and dropkicks for everyone! German Suplex on Knobbs for two! Comes off top, but Knobbs catches him with a Powerslam. Sags to the top, and a vicious elbow drop finishes at 7:08. **1/2 Surprisingly good, with non-stop action and solid teamwork from the random pairing of Fulton and Taylor.

"Wildfire" Tommy Rich vs. Wild Bill Irwin:

Rich runs in and immediately lays into Rich with rights. Whip, and Irwin comes back with a knee lift. They fight over a hip toss until Rich sends Irwin over the top rope! No Disqualification? Okay... Rich misses an elbow drop, allowing Irwin to work the arm. Rich quickly escapes with a back suplex and covers for two. He takes Irwin over with a side headlock, hopefully to slow things down just a bit... did I just say that? Rich pushes off the turnbuckles to take Irwin back down to the canvas with the hold. Irwin keeps trying, but he can't quite escape the headlock of Wildfire. Whip, and Irwin finally takes Rich down with a Side Suplex. Irwin comes off the ropes with a modest version of the Brogue Kick. He pounds Rich to the apron and knocks him into the security rail. Back inside, a slugfest goes Rich's way. Whip to the ropes, he slips out of another Side Suplex and grabs a sleeper hold! Irwin misses a charge to the corner, and Rich finishes with the Thesz Press at 3:56. *1/2 Another surprisingly decent, short, match.

- WCW Top Ten!

    World Champion: Sting
  1. Lex Luger (United States Champion)
  2. Ric Flair
  3. Arn Anderson (Television Champion)
  4. Barry Windham
  5. Sid Vicious
  6. Stan "The Lariat" Hansen
  7. Flyin' Brian
  8. Junkyard Dog
  9. "Wildfire" Tommy Rich
  10. "Nature Boy" Buddy Landell


    World Champions: Doom
  1. Steiner Brothers (US Tag Champions)
  2. Rock N' Roll Express
  3. Four Horsemen
  4. Midnight Express
  5. Southern Boys
  6. Fabulous reebirds
  7. Samoan Swat Team
  8. Flyin Brian & The Z-Man
  9. Junkyard Dog & El Gigante
  10. Mike Rotunda & Tim Horner
.... El Gigante AND Junkyard Dog as a Tag Team. I just had nightmares of what a match between them and the Master Blasters could be.

Women's Championship: Bambi vs. Susan Sexton:

Wait... WHAT?! There's a WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP in WCW?! When the hell did that ever happen?! Jim Ross says ladies wrestling is seldom seen in WCW. No Shit. Sexton grabs a headlock. Bambi takes her over with a hip toss and a shoulder tackle. Sexton takes her down with a drop toe hold and transfers into a side headlock. I think I have some crappy Apter Mags advertising a lot of stuff involving what these two are doing. Lots of head scissors from Bambi. Bambi goes from a headlock to a school boy for a near fall. Whip to the corner, Sexton comes off the second rope with a twisting body press. Whip to the ropes and a crappy back drop. Slam and elbow drop across the throat for two. Bambi with a surprise small package, but Sexton counters for three at 4:12. * They tried, I just had zero reason to care.

The Steiner Brothers vs. Maximum Overdrive:

"The Hunter" and "The Silencer"? I have no clue who these guys are... is one of them Mike Awesome? Wait, never mind, it's J.W. Storm. Still no clue who the other guy is. Scott starts with Hunter. I'm just assigning names right now. Sweeps the leg and turns him over into a weird Boston Crab. Scott with an overhead wristlock and leg sweep. Scott remains in control, but not much is happening, so my mind drifts. He easily handles both members of Maximum Homerdrive, and Rick clears the ring with a Double Steinerline. The Silencer gets some token offense in on Scott, but gets taken down with a sloppy release German Suplex. Rick tags in and scares Silencer off with barking. Long criss-cross sequence ends with a sloppy Powerslam. Hunter is back in and eats a Steinerline. Scott with a Super-Dized DDT from the top rope, and it's OVER at 6:23. Complete and total squash. DUD Pointless filler.

The Z-Man vs. Stan Hansen:

Hansen was apparently pissed off about his spot in the WCW Top 10, so he's going to take it out on Z-Man tonight! Hansen attacks during introductions. Zenk tries to slug it out with him, but gets a chair across the back for his efforts. Back in the ring, Hansen pounds away some more and takes him over with a suplex. This is just a beating. We cut backstage, where Tony Schiavone is with Lex Luger for a marble-mouthed promo. Zenk offers a comeback, but Hansen cuts it off pretty fast. Zenk with a surprise body press from the second rope, followed by a pair of dropkicks for barely a one count. Hansen plows through him with a shoulder tackle, and finishes with The Lariat at 3:17. 1/2* Did it's job of putting Hansen over, but sloppy as fuck. Nice to see Zenk get completely destroyed by Vader and Hansen in consecutive Supercard matches.

WCW United States Championship Match:
Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair:

Yes, that's accurate: Ric Flair is CHALLENGING Lex Luger, for the secondary Championship to really make it a bizarro world situation. This would be like Hulk Hogan challenging Mr. Perfect for the Intercontinental Title. It just doesn't make much sense. Lex Luger always seemed so miscast as a babyface. I know I've said that a lot through the years, but it's something that needs to be mentioned as much as possible. His appearance screams "arrogant douchebag." I guess Flair needs to win this match to get back into contention for the WORLD TITLE. RIC FLAIR. HAS TO REGAIN CONTENDERSHIP.

Flair cheats during a knuckle-lock, and Luger no-sells the chops. Business as usual, I see. Whip reversed, and Luger takes him down with a press slam. Luger no-sells more chops and takes Flair down with another slam. Luger with a clothesline, knocking Flair over the top rope, to the floor. Luger follows, and lays him out with another clothesline. Luger continues no-selling and posing. He misses the jumping elbow that always misses. Whip to the corner, and Luger explodes out with a clothesline. Flair sells an imaginary injury then sucker punches Luger to take control. To the floor, Flair sends Luger into the security rail. We have some down time, so Jim Ross reminds us Flair has 10 title reigns between the NWA World Heavyweight (six) and United States (four) Championships. If it were the 21st century, it would be 0, because he doesn't look like a GQ model. Back in the ring, Flair goes after the knee, complete with over-selling sound-effects from Luger. Luger mounts a comeback, but a thumb to the eyes slows him down. Luger blocks a hip toss and counters with a back slide for two. Rotunda would've gotten three. Atomic drop fails and Luger hits a clothesline for two. Flair with a snapmare for two. He goes to the top rope, and you'll never believe this, but he gets slammed off. Whip to the corner, Flair lands on the apron, and Luger clotheslines him off. Luger with ANOTHER press slam (4th of the match). Powerslam, but he chooses not to cover, but calls for the Rack. Flair thumbs the eyes and grabs a headlock. Whip, Luger grabs a bearhug and sets him across the top rope. Super-Plex! It only gets two. Flair goes to the eyes again, and a body press takes both men to the floor. They continue slugging it out until Stan Hansen runs in for the Disqualification at 14:27. He lays a beating in on Luger, setting up a match between the two at Halloween Havoc. ***1/4 Standard formula match between the two, just roles reversed when it came to Champion and Challengers. Even when it's sub-par (for them), it's still good.

World Heavyweight Championship Match:
Sting vs. The Black Scorpion:

I would have assumed this is a Non-Title Match, but it's for the belt, because a non-ranked challenger makes sense... in Boxing. There's a special stipulation: If Sting wins, the Black Scorpion reveals himself. I bet it's the man who taught Sting how to surf. Or maybe it's his weightlifting coach from High School. Or some guy who lived with a bunch of Dingo's in the outbacks of Australia. Or maybe it's just some guy looking for attention. Or Ric Flair. That was my pick when I was 5 years old... and yes, I liked the angle back then, sue me. The Scorpion attacks with rights and lefts. Sting retaliates with the same. It's literally all punching and choking, understandable to hide someone's identity, but boring as shit otherwise. Scorpion slams Sting on the ramp and does a goofy dance. Sting goes for the mask, unsuccessfully. Sting with a press slam. He goes to the top rope, and connects with a diving body press for two. Scorpion with a snapmare and knee across the throat for two. Sting with a short-clothesline, whip to the corner, and Stinger Splash for three at 8:13. Sting goes for the mask and reveals Kato of the Orient Express? WCW, to the surprise of many, doesn't honor the stipulations. You see, it was a MESSENGER Scorpion, and the "REAL" Black Scorpion just stands on the entrance ramp, taunting Sting as the storyline MUST CONTINUE! 1/2* Match sucked. For the geeks who care and don't already know, the Black Scorpion for this particular match was played by Al Perez. Go ahead and Wikipedia the name, I'm sure you don't know much about him.

Final Thoughts: This might be the worst edition of Clash of the Champions I have ever seen. Yes, there's a good match between Ric Flair and Lex Luger, but they've had better, and so many more matches readily available on other PPV's that it makes this one worth skipping. Rounding out the rest of the program: A lame bait-and-switch Main Event featuring the Black Scorpion, a random appearance of a Ladies Championship that was never seen again, the awful debut of the Blast Masters or Master Blasters or whatever their names were, and just a weak undercard, from start to finish. This isn't making me want to look forward to more Clashes, but it couldn't possibly get any worse... right?

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